dear carmelo,

"i need your grace
to remind me
to find my own.

if i lay here
if i just lay here
would you lie with me
and just forget the world..."

i just miss my best friend. a year and a half later and i'm still mellloo...
we had awesome moments, and i guess they're called "moments"
because they're not supposed to physically last forever...
but the impact you made on everyone is immortal.

love you,
ceejay

hhey, this is erwin and i have already posted something for melo, but today seems like the right day to write another, because ive been meaning to say thanks to c melo.. for lookin out for me, on the hardest night of my life.

i've been waiting for the day, i felt it was time to write
the most sincerest thank you, for helping save my life
never would have thought i'd get in an accident that night
i read through this website, something that c.j said,
she knows you'll put you new super powers to good use, and she was right
through the aftermath i realize you somehow convinced God to save my life.
i hope your doing well, because everyone misses you
first chance i got, i took it and paid you a visit dude
hope your stayin fly in the sky wearing the carmelo sneakers too
now i rock your shirt, because i know through me and many others, your
living through.
id like to also give thanks, to your mother, father, brother and sisters too
and sorry i didnt make it to your one year, but in the hospital i prayed for
you
but still your family made sure i got the shirt that was madd cool.
what perplexes me most, i just happened to crash on the highway, real close
to your bridge
and after seeing the remains of my car, how i didnt loose any limbs
like i said, ill always look up to you, till we meet again
one of the hardest things in life is loosing a sibling, son, daughter or friend
i just know we'll see each other in heaven
thats when ill give you all the respect thats due, and ill patiently wait
till then
till the day we can kick it and laugh
i'll know your looking out watchin all our backs
it feels like i still have my life because of you.. so this is my "thank you" for that.

i'll be seeing you, one sweet day.
rest in peace bro.
sincerely,
Erwin

From Jessica Quijano
Date is Tuesday May 30
Time is 3:20pm

Can't believe it's been a year... it felt like it happened all over again... every feeling in my body i had last year, (the shivers, the cries, the pain) i felt all over again... every day since the accident happened was hard to handle, but everyday now is going to be just as hard especially knowing that a year passed already...

it's taken me a long time to write you on this carmelo...i didn't feel right displaying my emotions on this, which is why i wrote you the letters that were burried with you, so only you can read it, but now i don't mind who reads this... anyway, better late than never right?!

well it was nice seeing everyone at your one year anniversary memorial... there were a lot of people i haven't seen in a while which was nice... oh yea and my mom made your favorite, lumpia and pancit! dude, you used to eat so much at my house during family parties! haha, you and sonny which is why i always had to tell my mom in advance that you two boys were coming so she can make more food!!! haha, it's all good, by family loves you and the loafters were and are always welcome! it's funny how we found out that our parents knew each other...we coulda been friends since we
were like 2!!! haha damn, if only....

anyways, time for me end this, just wanna say that i will always love you carmelo... during the past year a lot has happened but i always manage to look up and know that your watching over us...makes me feel a lot better....i miss you eloy....i love you, and i always will.... no goodbyes, cuz i know i'll see you again!

love jeje!!!

happy birthday eloy...
it feels weird not sharing this time of the year with u...but i know u still did because it would have been the same exact way if u were here...i miss u and love u forever....
care

i'd sing happy birthday, but i know you wouldnt want that! Well just wanted to greet you a happy birthday eloy! We'll always miss you! regardless of the time. You're friends will always remain true to you!

Love you Carmelo,
Jubes

Hi i was never Carmelo friend or do i know him i have heard his story
through a friend of his. I do give you all my love and compassion and sorrow
that cant be explained. I do see you have some poetry for him on the web
site. I would like to share mine with you;

Thinking of you

I always think of you when I am sad
I think of you when I am lonely

When I think of you it makes me happy
My hearth is only free for you

When I wake up in the mourning I spend my
day on you, sometimes my mind is only free
for you.

By: Zeljko Radinski

Please feel free to change it do whatever you feel like with it whatever
makes you happy. I don't know the feeling of loosing someone except a
girlfriend and breaking a relationship, but i know most have told you and so
will i, he is in a special place with God and is well. Remember we all are
children of God and he is his child too. I do have a lot more of poetry feel
free to take them change them if you want there are under copyright but i
don't care honestly feel free. May God bless you and your family. I am going
to midnight mass tonight and i will sure keep your brother in my thoughts
and prayers. I wish you the best of the Holidays. Take good care and when
ever you need someone to talk to i will be there not that i know you but i
do also care.

Peace & Love

Zeljko Radinski
(http://radinski.blogspot.com)

still hasnt hit me yet melo, believe it or not. i miss you bhee. sitting at home with nothing to do all i do would do is just link your cell and we'd meet up and chill. you'd be down for anything, you'd pick me up cause i didnt have my g2. no matter what time or wether or not we had school the next day. we'd run ball, missions downtown with the rest of the boys or even just chill at eachothers houses. now with you not here, all i do is just sit at home with nothing to do. not sure who to call and chill because you would be the first id call no matter what. i cant believe it was me who was the last person to see you. last thing we were doing was playing ball and cruising in our cars. was so sick. we ran those guys man. after that, reached your house after i went home. saw that creditview was closed. rounded to your house and saw your car wasnt there. i recieved the news awhile after. i was shocked, never could believe it. when i was on creditview and saw it was closed never in my mind i thought it was you involved. i cant believe i saw you right before you were on your way home. it still hasnt hit me yet bhee, i still cant believe it. you were my closest boy i had, kept it strong since day one. you were always there for me bhee. you were the first one i ran and talked too. i remember i had this one problem, you picked me up at like two or three in the morning, took me to devry and talked it out with me. you were true bhee.
i miss you bhee, we all do.
r.i.p bhee.
you will be missed.

hey eloy, its care... i still cant believe ur gone but in so many ways you've shown me that ur still here maybe not physically but definately spiritually...the random tapping on the fridge, the sampagita plant, the computer screen turning on, that pen playing love story behind the china cabinet downstairs and the list goes on...we can feel u all around us but the one thing that really lets me kno ur still here with us is in my dream last night where me and u were juss chillin like u came down from heaven to visit me and i asked u how it was and if there were lots of people there and u told me, "No, that's why i stay down here all the time..." i juss want to thank u for letting me kno that u are still here and for listening and visiting me in my dreams yesterday. i still wish u didnt have to go but i kno God needs u more than we do down here...i was telling Kae the other day how in a way ur a lucky one... u were at the peak of ur teenage years, u juss graduated from high school, u got into all the schools u applied for, u had an awesome relationship with everyone-no enemies, no sicknesses, no stress, u never had to go through the pain of losing someone close and when u past away its been promised to us that u didnt feel any pain whatsoever...u were one of the most honest, truthful, wholesome person i've known and i guess that is why God had chosen u that day. i believe that life is just a test to get into heaven and u've already passed it cuz ur just that perfect...meanwhile here the rest of us hafta continue with our lives writing our tests til its our time...til then i'll miss u everyday. thank u for all the memories u've left us with. i love u so much eloy and although it hurts sometimes i kno ur in a better place then here...since ur funeral i've been to tito ben's and tita aida's moms and in a couple of hours i'll be going to bryan's lolo's. mama and papa came to the viewing and papa
realized that he knew him and bryan's uncle from the phillippines... hopefully you'll get to meet him up there too so that he can tell u that he knew papa from when he was a little boy=) well i'd better get to sleep so good night eloy,and i hope to see u more often in my dreams...rest in peace. i'll always love u and miss u ....<3 ur ate care

p.s. i used to be scared of death but since u've gone i'm no longer scared
cuz i kno when i do i'll see u again...

a son, brother, and a bestfriend thats fallin in love
is what you lived your life to be
someone who would watch and catch you
when your climbing the tree of dreams
this is written as a farewell, goodluck on your new journey.
for God has called you my brother, to live in eternity
as a son you did wat you had to, took care of ur family
made them proud to see you graduate and earn ur highschool degree
you were on your way to success, but God wanted you to take a bigger leap
he asked and you agreed when he said come with me.
as a brother in specific, we had our moments in peace
we ran ball, kicked back and relaxed, went to fallingbrook in ur veeks
thats when i got to know you for you, and we were much alike it seemed.
after that you told me, you had to make an exit, riding off to the black album beats
we all know how deep your love was for cj, and on you she always could lean
you made sure she was happy, and im sure your all she needs
but now were all walking through the boulevard of broken dreams
loafting on each memory we come upon of you, hoping it would last for weeks
i know you keep with you all our numbers that God will call, so only you know the
next time we meet
till that day ill always look up to you...
so with God, Carmelo, may you rest in peace.

*Monday, August 8th, 2005*
to the magnaye family and cj, my thoughts and prayers are with you for your loss. Carmelo was a very good friend to me, and im sure you mish him just as much as i do, if not, more. I always wanted to leave something for him on this, and today i just felt it was the right thing to do. If there was anything i could say to him before left us to be with God, it would have been what i have written above. there was never anyone so ready and dedicated to do whatever it was he had to do within his own means, to ensure a good life for everyone that he cared about. Melo, you were one of a kind, a fallen soldier, now a risen angel. Watch over us, i hope to see you when i walk through those pearly gates doin wat we usually do we all miss you, you'll always be in my heart and my thoughts. rest easy dawg... i jus kno ur tuning up ur ride and playing ball up there i hope someway and somehow, you heard everything i wish i could have said.

-erwin ty

So I went to go visit you today Carmelo. I'm sorry it took so long...I was in the Philippines when everything happened and I wish I could've been there for everything...but there was never a day that passed by when I didn't think about you and pray for you. You know, it never actually sank in until today. I saw your sisters and your parents there and we prayed together...I know u were there with us. Even though we weren't the closest of friends, I miss you. I might not have shared many moments with you but one in particular comes to mind...and I KNOW u know which one I'm talking about. That time at Churchills...I'm sorry I laughed so hard at you...you know you were laughing too. Don't worry...I'll save you the embarassment...I won't tell lol. That patio isn't there anymore. I wanted to get one of the bricks &amp; cut it in half so u could have one piece and I could have the other. corny I know...but still I know you love it. Just know that we all miss you and you'll never be forgotten. You're in my prayers and I know you're havin fun chillin with God...that's SO cool...tell the Big Man I said wats up. Take care buddy. I'll see you when I get there.
Krystle
P.S. Thanks for showing me & Carly that beautiful sunset today...It brought a lil comfort to our day

dear carmelo,

i dont even know how to start this.. i feel like you are still here, as if nothing ever happened to you. i always feel that i am going to see you walkin around the mall and i'd bumped into you. i guess the only time i will bump into you is through my dreams. it was so hard to even except all what was happening here...when i found out about the bad news i was far away, in scotland. my brother told me that you had passed away and i thought he was joking. i felt that it was another carmelo magnaye because it sounded too surreal. after hearin that, i knew that i wanted to fly back to canada and be with everyone. i hated myself for not being there and saying goodbye to you. i guess it really isnt a "goodbye" more like "see you later".. hm...its soo hard to look for words now when i write this. it all seems so easy in my head but writing them is hard. haha i still remember when i was in grade 10 and u were in grade 9!!! hahaha i had a crush on you and i would use nicknames like marshmellow and caramel. this was when u had ur hair spiked up with gel... u were soo adorable when in grade nine and u grew up even better lookin...(go cj!!!..goodeye) i didnt know ur family lived in my old house at perivale until later someone told me or i think it was u who told me but now when i look back at it i do remember getting our mails from u every sunday after church. isnt it such a small world.. who would think that YOU and ur family lived there! hehe anyway i remember during a fire drill in st.joes vanessa dumlou telling u that i freaking liked u and thought u were hot!!! i was soo embarassed... haha that was funny! i dont think i'll ever forget that moment. oh carmelo i miss you and so does everyone else! i remember how u asked me on msn which hair-do i liked best suited on u.... and of course i said when u had spikey hair..hahahaha then we were laughin because we both knew why. carmelo u were such a goodfriend to everyone and to me. i wish u can visit me at work...im not at bakery garden anymore so u cant go there anymore. But i do remember you passin by there and tellin me ur story on how u got there and why. u would really do anything for cj! damn... i could go on for hours on this...

Carmelo, we miss you soo much....we will see u again in our dreams. i thank you so much for lettin me know a part of u.. i know i may not know u as much as others but i will treasure everything else. Keep watchin us.... CeeJay and the Magnaye family...you guys have been touched by an angel! my thoughts and prayers are with u...

ps. i saw carol.. and i am so sorry i didnt stop by and talk.. i just didnt know what to say. :S


-andreago

07.02.05

So I juss finished reading what everybody wrote to u. And I know I don’t know u as well as the others but at least I can say I won a championship wit u! Black Knights baby let’s go! So yea, I remember seeing u on the ball courts or whatever, but the first time I actually met u, u were at Val’s house. I’ll always remember that day cause we almost had to duke it out, but Val and Julia told me to not mind u cause u were their cousin, even though u really weren’t but Carmi and Keith were dealing so I guess that’s what they meant. U know how it is, filipinos think everybody’s their cousin! And then 2 years after that we were on the same ball team. First year we played together and we won the ship. But u left the following year, and we lost. We missed u out there; all the hustle and determination was missed. Even though u didn’t get as much burn as u wanted, u still played your heart out like it was your last game and I want to thank u for that. U were one of those dudes I never got mad at cause u hustled and tried your best every game. But don’t worry, we’re gonna make the same squad and win that ship for u this year. Me, Bronson, Paolo, Shams, Sheldon, Darwin, Santos, and my brother were the last people u ran indoor ball with and u killed it. And u were on my squad too! I’ll never forget runnin ball wit u man, and u better be workin on your game up there too. I never got the chance to finish showing u some stuff so make sure by the time I get there, those dudes who past away like Wilt Chamberlain haven’t taught u everything so u smash me when I meet u again!

Gr. 11 english was a killer. U, me and Tutay ran that class. I swear I never skipped that many classes ever in one class. All cause of u two, whenever one of us didn’t go to class, the other two wouldn’t either. But I still finished with the lowest marks! It’s all good though, it was still memories shared wit u. I seen that Aaliyah picture from start to finish too. Oh and by the way, everyone knew that Ms. Pereira did not know what she was talking about. We both know that the ball thing was mine, lol, how does she feel right now?!....That retreat was some good times to. We were on a religion retreat gettin MELO, pretty ironic huh, the creek? Haha. I wish I could’ve spent more time wit u and get to know u more. I’ll let u know that even though u left our team, I still kept u under my Black Knights list for msn. You’ll always be a Black Knights to us! Like I said earlier, I don’t have many mushy things to express cause we weren’t really on that level but we miss u, I miss u, and I’ll see u at the crossroads homie.

“I know you’re in a better place/ And I know I cant see your face/ I know you’re smiling down on us/ Saying everything’s okay”

p.s I don’t know if it was all u, but if it was, thanks for looking out for Lauren. I juss saw the car today, and it was totaled! How she survived, I don’t know, but I’m sure u had something to do with that. Thank u again.

Rest Easy,

Rico Valdiva a.k.a chunk #10

07.01.05
Dear Melo-yelo,
It's me Shannie. I'm so sorry we never got the chance to double date. I promised we would next time i visit, =( and I was looking forward to it too. I miss you...you were always the first person jai ran to whenever he had something bothering him and you were the first person i would run to when he wouldn't tell me something. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to anything, I wish I could've left NY earlier. You will truly be missed. Thanks for always keeping what we talk about between us and that what I loved about you. I miss you Carmelo you'll always be in my prayers. Love you always.
-Shannie!

Every school day would be the same routine. Walk into the caf, there you would be. Dressed in your Brown LRG sweater or sometimes there are the odd days where you're actually in uniform. You would be sitting on the table with your backpack on. Carmelo you were one of the "realest" boys i knew. We met in grade eight and me and val used to watch your basketball games and go to the movies. I found out that your sister was going out with my cousin, so i guess from that moment on we considered ourselves kinda like family. From that point on, everything was history. Highschool started and you were there since the beginning. In every class i had with you, we were always partners, no matter what. I found so much comfort in you, and you always knew what to say when i was going through hard times. You weren't like other guys. You always had your head on straight, even if you didnt go to class all the time. You were so good to your friends, family, and especially ceejay. You were the perfect boyfriend. I know you wouldnt ever do anything to purposely hurt her. You were the type to be trusted with anything...

Im sorry, i cant get over the fact that you're really gone. I know if you were here in front of me, seeing me like this, you would tell me to RELAX. That's what you always told me to do, because sometimes i take things "too seriously" (but i didnt really). I miss you so much. Even though i dont want to admit it, i miss your annoying pokes and head budds. The way you would persuade me to skip 4th period. The way you would ask me a question over and over again. How you would start a conversation after school by saying, "Is it raining outside?" or "Do you have a bus ticket" or the desperate "Jubes can you drive me home please?" just to get home after school. I remember everytime i drove you home, you handed me a toonie for gas, which i never accepted. But i if i did, i could have been rich by now. I miss you so much Carmelo, I need you! WE need you! Please come back. I was standing at your grave, and I was thinking to my self -- "I'll be waiting for you in the caf, and i promise i'll drive you home after school too!" I know i shouldn't be thinking that, but i can't help it. I'm just missing you too much. There's so much more i want to say to you, but i bet you already know. Well I'll try and be strong for you, i'll pray for you everyday and night. LOVE YOU MAN!

RIP CARMELO MAGNAYE

Love you and Miss you,
Julia

It’s December 26th 2002...

you looked at me and i already knew. then you said, "you're the realest girl i know and you're the the only one that really knows me". it was the inevitable. we were best friends, we chilled all the time, i could tell you everything, even cry to you. no one will ever complete me the way you did. we acted so much alike to each other - stubborn and full of self pride - and we both had white hair! i'm so grateful to have been such an important part of your life and like carmi said " your world". you were my whole world. everything i did revolved around you but in the best way possible. i miss you so much and i love you even more. you tried so hard to make me happy, to take care of me and make me secure, and it all turned out the way it was supposed to because i was the happiest when i was with you. i got butterflies whenever i saw you and i was so proud to say that you were my boyfriend because carmelo, you are such a beautiful person inside and out. you accomplished everything you wanted to before you left and we even got to see nas. i'm so proud of you and now that you're in heaven i'm sure that you'll put your superpowers to good use. i will never stop loving you carmelo and you'll always be the guy that i'll be eternally waiting for. you were my soulmate and we were perfect for each other. we were supposed to be together and we will be the next time i get to see you. i just hope you know that i appreciated you so much and that i never wanted anybody else. i'll be strong for you and i'll try to take your place in the rotation. don't worry about me k? i'll be fine. i'll see you when you come to pick me up.

"FALLEN SOLDIER, RISEN ANGEL"
Rest in peace babe.

Love,
Ceejay

P.S: prom wasn't the same without you, but i know you had fun through me!

It’s been over a month and I still can't accept that you're gone. Just today I was sitting here thinking that I just imagined the entire thing and how much I wish that I did. Eloy, I miss you so much and I'm trying my best to be strong for you because I know that’s how you want me to be. I've had some good days and not so good ones...everything reminds me of you – from McDonalds paper bags to my leftover take out food that you always use to eat when I’d get home. I love you so much and no one can understand what I would do just to see you again, to hear your voice or to feel your elbow resting on my shoulder. Growing up I always knew that we were alike in many ways. I always believed that you felt things the way I do – that everything goes straight to your heart. So when you left, its like a part of me left too. I wish that I told you that I loved you more...I wish I hugged and kissed you more too…I miss you.

Love,
Your Ate Carmi

It's been a month and a week since you left us, but I still can't believe that you're gone forever. In one of your writings, you said that you hated waking up in the morning; now you don't need to wake up anymore.

Tonight is your prom night and you're supposed to go with Ceejay. You did not ask me to sew her prom dress, but you implied at Jack Astor's (where we had dinner after your graduation) how I can easily do it for her. And so, I did. I think she was happy at how it turned out. She would have been happier if you were here (and Carlo, Carmi, Carol, Papa & I would not have been as sad as we are right now).

We miss you so much, Anak. Remember, you will always be my baby.


Love,


Mama

we little knew that night,God was going to call your name, in life we loved you dearly ,in death we do the same...it broke our hearts to lose you ,you didnt go alone,for part of us went with u ...The day God called you home...U left us beautiful memories,your love is styll our guide, and though we cannot see you ,youll always be by our side.Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same, But as god calls us one by one , the chain will link again .....Rest in peace

Derick Araneta-Ho

May you find peace in the hands of God and my God bless you and your
family.

Sincerely,
Andrew Mayka
Support Worker
Community Living Mississauga

Here are some pictures that i had on my computer. The pictures are from times that i
were with him along with other friends.

Sonny

-sorry i didn't sell my plastic BB gun to you when you wanted it (i tested it out recently and it doesn't work anymore for some reason)
-Sorrry for not giving you my little remote control car cuz you wanted it so badly and it had a more powerful engine than the ones that you and Keith bought
-Last...sorry for not letting you hold Josh that day at Winners when you asked me...Josh was giving me a really hard time.

miss you....